Here’s what my vacations look like.
PART 3: Choosing modes of transportation. ✈️ 🚂 🚗
This part of the equation doesn’t give me quite as much anxiety, but it’s definitely a very important part of planning a vacation!
It starts with how you’ll get to your destination:
🚗 Road trip?
✈️ Flight?
🚂 Train?
Once you decide how you get where you’re going, you want to think about how you’ll get around once you get there.
Do you plan on spending most of your time at your chosen accommodations?
Will you be driving multiples hours every day?
Will you need the flexibility of having your own transportation?
I’ll start by saying I’ve never traveled by train.
It is on my bucket list (one of them anyway 😁)!
I have flown to some destinations, but I have also made multiple road trips, which offer their own unique possibilities.
If you fly or ride a train, you’re obviously going to need to adhere to a schedule so you don’t miss your flight or ride!
Road trips offer a little more flexibility, but sometimes they can create their own challenges.
Someone will inevitably need a bathroom break, get hungry, or want to stop at every squirrely roadside attractions along the way.
All of this can add significant time to your trip.
Some of my travel partners love flying. Others would rather do literally anything other than step foot on an airplane.
Some love road trips with stops every hour.
Still others enjoy road trips where we take turns driving and get to our destination as quickly as possible, with minimal stops.
When I’m planning my vacations, I ask myself questions through the entire process.
Some questions I ask at this point are:
How far away is my destination?
How many vacation days do I have and do I want to travel the entire time?
Who am I traveling with?
What is the cost difference between flying, driving (Car rental fees, gas, mileage fees) or riding a train?
Do I want to get to my destination as quickly as possible, or do I want to be able to see a hidden gems along my route?
How much luggage will I need?
Do I plan on bringing home a lot of souvenirs?
How busy do I expect the airport to be?
Will I have any layovers if flying?
All of these questions help me decide how I’ll get where I’m going.
More often than not, I calculate costs for both modes of travel to help me decide.
Most of my vacations include a rental car. The need to follow a schedule or wait for public transportation makes me a little crazy. 😵💫
In all the years I’ve been renting cars, the things I consider are: Are there mileage limits? Do I need to fill the gas before I return the car? Will I need to purchase any extras that increase my cost (damage waiver, GPS, car seat…)?
Most rental car companies have loyalty programs that offer benefits for using one company exclusively. Please research this. Different companies will have different benefits, and what appeals to me may not be important to you!
What is your favorite way to travel?
Is there anything I’ve missed?
Here’s what my vacations look like.
PART 2: Location, location, location!
Ok, we know when we’re going and where, now to figure out accommodations.
With so many choices, how do I choose between a shared hostel, a hotel, a true old-fashioned B&B, or an entire home to yourself through Airbnb or VRBO?
It really depends on the vacation and who my travel partners are.
I’ll start with hostels.
I, personally, am (so far) too edgy and anxious to stay with strangers in a shared space, but I have friends who live for that experience, and there’s a little part of me that envies their ability to trust others.
If I’m on a solo trip, I will often check to see if I have any friends or family in or near my location that I can stay with. (This is an amazing way to visit new places and enjoy someone else’s company with minimal expense.)
If I’m in a place where I don’t know anyone and am traveling alone, I will almost always book a hotel.
This helps me feel safer, which in turn helps me relax and enjoy the vacation as much as possible. My favorite is the top floor of a high-rise overlooking the beach.
If I’m with my husband, we almost always book an entire home through AirBNB or VRBO. He does not like staying in high rises and definitely not on the top floor. Heights are definitely not his favorite. This allows us to enjoy a quiet vacation just the two of us, and we usually choose a location that’s outside the busier downtown areas.
If I’m with one of my kids, it depends on the location and safety level of the area we’ll be in.
I fully believe there is safety in numbers, so the fewer people I’m traveling with means the closer I want to be to people who can be witnesses if anything were to ever happen.
Before I book any of these, I ask myself a few questions.
Most of the time, I turn those questions into a list in one of my many, many notebooks.
That way, I can take a quick peek at my notes if I forget something. (With ADHD this happens more than I’d like to admit, but I am a realist. I know if I don’t write things down, I’ll be all over the place and won’t remember half of what I researched.)
Do I want to be in the middle of the action or somewhere quiet?
Do I want neighbors or the serenity of being miles away from civilization?
How far am I willing to drive each day to get to the things I actually want to do?
How much space do I truly need?
Do I want a fancy, upscale room where I can relax in privacy, or the most basic room that gives me a safe place to sleep between new adventures?
Do I need a kitchen or will I plan on eating out?
Will I need a rental car, or can I use a service like Uber?
What do the last three to six months of reviews say about safety, cleanliness, amenities, and noise?
I will say that over the last few years, I’ve realized that I don’t necessarily need the most expensive room or the fanciest amenities. Safety is always my number one priority. Everything else depends on what I plan to do on my vacation.
I need to feel safe so I can relax, keep my anxiety in check, and avoid driving my travel partners crazy. 😁
Silly?
Maybe, but I’d always rather err on the side of caution.
Ultimately, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to choose accommodations. What makes me happy and calm might make you cringe. What makes you happy might make me want to jump out of my skin.
The important thing is not finding the perfect accommodations.
The most important thing is to find a place that gives you peace and allows you to enjoy your vacation—no matter where you choose to stay!
What else do we need to consider?
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Tiny house in Maine🩷 Catholic Church converted to condos 👻 Top floor overlooking the beach! 🏖️
Join me next time for
“Here’s what my vacations look like.”
PART 3: Choosing modes of transportation. ✈️ 🚂 🚗
Here’s what my vacations look like.
PART 1: Choosing dates and destination
Because I work full time outside the home and am a member of Corporate America, I have to carefully plan my vacations with my co-workers’ schedules in mind.
This means I don’t always get the exact week I want.
For example, I currently earn four weeks of vacation every year. I try to take one week each quarter—usually in February, May, August, and November.
This not only spreads out my vacations throughout the year, it also gives me multiple weeks to look forward to.
Once my time off is approved, I figure out where I want to go—if anywhere.
Sometimes a staycation is even better than getting away.
I usually narrow my choices to a top-three list and research average weather conditions in each location during my chosen time.
If I’m traveling with my husband or oldest daughter, they tend to enjoy cooler weather. They’ll pick mountains and woods over beaches almost every time.
My twins, in sharp contrast, are mini-me's. They're happiest on a beach near the ocean, with the sun on their faces and the salty breeze blowing through their hair.
Just like their mama.
Once I’ve figured out which destination has the weather conditions I’m looking for, I start narrowing down neighborhoods based on safety factors.
There are multiple apps that track crime rates by address. My favorites are Crime and Place and CrimeRadar. Both offer different levels of information depending on whether you choose a free or paid subscription.
Once I’ve decided on an area that has crime rates I’m comfortable with, I move on to the next step…
Researching lodging.
If you thought that was a lot, hang on…
Lodging takes us even further down the rabbit hole.
Who’s ready for PART 2?!
How do you prepare for a vacation?
I think the most stressful part of preparing for a vacation is deciding what to pack and how much to bring.
This feels like something that should be easy.
Four-day vacation?
Pack:
four shirts 👕
four pairs of shorts or pants 👖🩳
four pairs of underwear 🩲
four pairs of socks 🧦
one backup pair of shoes 👟
makeup. 💋
And if your lodging doesn’t provide shampoo, conditioner and body wash, throw travel size bottles in your carry on (or larger in your checked bag). If you forget, just stop by a convenience store, drug store or grocery store once you arrive at your destination.
Sounds pretty cut and dry, right?
Not when ADHD shows up!
What-ifs plague my every waking thought while I’m preparing for any trip—even a quick weekend getaway.
WHAT IF:
It gets cold? 🥶
It rains? ☔️
I spill coffee all over myself right after locking the door to head out for the day? ☕️
I need hiking boots even though I haven’t hiked a real trail in years? 🥾
I forget….ANYTHING? 🤯
What I’ve discovered over the last few years is that all the research I do (countless open tabs, 12 ragged notebooks and the Notes app on my phone) helps keep me on track.
So, let’s walk through this process together.
I’ll tell you what works for me and I’d love to know what works for you. Do you have something that helps keep you on track? Any travel hacks that make ADHD travel more comfortable?
I’m open to suggestions!
The biggest thing I’ve learned is that the more prepared I am, the more calm I am when it’s time to go.
Will I still pack an extra shirt or two…just in case? Most likely.
Will I still double, triple, even quadruple check to make sure I have every charger I need, the notebook(s) with ALL my research, and my headphones?
ABSOLUTELY.
Does that mean I won’t immensely enjoy my vacation?
Not at all.
It simply means that when the inevitable happens and plans go sideways, I have a back-up plan ready to go.
Now that we’ve talked a little about packing for the trip, let’s talk about choosing the right time and destination.
Stay tuned….my next post will do just that! 🐿️😃
3.
THE Trip of a Lifetime!
Hawaii...the number ONE destination on my bucket list for as long as I can remember!
I started dreaming about visiting Hawaii before the internet even existed.
As a child, I loved looking at maps.
I would beg for a new map every time I saw one. It didn’t matter what location was on those maps. I wanted to see the world.
My husband doesn't get quite as excited as I do about traveling, but he finally agreed to go to Hawaii for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary!
After many, many evenings of asking him “are you sure?”, I got to work on the details.
As I’m sure you can guess, I had 36 tabs open, a notebook for each island and its individual vibe, as well as making multiple posts on social media asking for recommendations.
I looked at several online discount travel sites—Travelocity, TripAdvisor, Expedia, Priceline, and a few lesser known sites that I’ve since forgotten. I do use these sites occasionally, and haven’t had a lot of issues.
That being said, I have had one or two instances where what I reserved wasn’t available when I got where I was going. The establishments that were involved did everything they could to make it right, but did let me know this was not an isolated incident. Nothing intentional, but sometimes all the different sites don’t communicate as quickly as they feel like they should.
I compared flights on at least four different airlines. I looked at flight times, flight paths, number and length of layovers, cost, what seats were available, and probably a dozen other things I can’t remember right now.
I looked at several different lodging options—downtown hotels versus vacation rentals just outside of town, camping versus hostels, high rise versus first floor living.
I looked at reviews for at least half a dozen rental car companies.
Things I looked at?
Cost, mileage limitations, individual reviews, etc.
ALL options were considered and explored.
To understand the struggle with lodging, I want you to know my husband and I have very different ideas of what an “amazing place” means.
While I love being on the top floor of a high rise overlooking the beach with a chintzy little coffee shop at the back door, my husband prefers first level living in a low traffic residential area where we can brew our own coffee. He’s not a fan of heights.
I’ve discovered that I can be happy on the first level in order to enjoy a couples vacation. I just wait until I go on a solo trip or with an adventurous travel partner to rent those corner rooms with a view that sometimes cause my stomach to drop half-way up the elevator ride.
Does lodging really matter? I have mixed feelings about this.
If I’m taking a beach vacation, it’s usually the place I spend the least amount of time, so I don’t need it to be exquisite, just comfortable.
If, on the other hand, it’s off-season or I’m just trying to get away for a couple of days, I look for something with high reviews of beds and bedding, onsite restaurants and/or coffee shops, and a quiet neighborhood.
I’ve used one rental car company for most of my road trips.
I’ve only had an issue with their service once. They apologized and gave me a free upgrade with my next rental. This redeemed them for me. I understand that we’re all human and as such, are imperfect.
What happens after a human error is what determines my loyalty to a company—DO YOU AGREE?
Three weeks before the trip, I do my weekly airfare check to see if I can save any money. I CAN! Not only was I able to upgrade to front row seats (more room for my husband!), but I also got back over two-hundred dollars! (Sometimes the way my brain works—works in our favor).
The trip itself?
WORTH EVERY SINGLE TAB!
Hawaii was better than any dream I’d ever had.
For me, it was heaven on earth.
The air smelled clean and sweet. The water was otherworldly—a clear turquoise that gradually blended into a deep blue that seemed to flow right into the sun. Palm trees swayed in the warm tropical breeze, the beaches were pristine, and the locals were welcoming. “Mahalo” became a common utterance that invoked joy every time it was spoken.
Because of our drastically different travel styles, most of our couples vacations start with a disagreement. This time, it was about the rental car. Nothing life-altering, but the first-day-of-vacation fight has almost become our rite of passage…the truest sign that we’re starting a new adventure together. With ADHD, this often means that my feelings are hurt and I spend at least a little time crying in the bathroom while he silently paces and grumbles under his breath.
I have started using this time to talk myself back into reality and I try to remember that whatever just happened will not end my marriage or even the vacation. I also try to remind myself that it was almost certainly not something I was 100% at fault for.
We both ended up loving this trip and I am happy to report that I have since gained explicit permission to return in the future.
I probably don’t have to tell you that I started researching that next trip on the flight home. 😁
2.
Good morning Squirrels!
So many amazing places, intriguing people and unforgettable experiences!
I want to share all of them, but every adventure starts with a first step. Since I can’t recap every story at once, I’m just going to start somewhere in the middle and we’ll hop around like squirrels in a field full of acorns.
Some stories will make you laugh.
Some might make you think.
Some may inspire you to throw together a travel bag and step on the gas.
Still some others may show you that the best vacation is a staycation.
And speaking of hopping around…I’ll start with the very first trip that lit the fire inside me—years before the pandemic hit.
I had finally convinced my non-travel-loving husband to go on our first ever family vacation…us and our three girls (roughly four and six years old).
We decided since it was our first trip, we’d stick fairly close to home. Saint Louis was a short four-hour road trip away. We thought “surely we could make that happen with a few weeks planning.”
As we prepared for our very first family vacation, we did what I imagined all families did.
We tried to make sure we had the house in good condition.
We had neighbors ready to collect our mail and keep an eye on things.
We started packing our suitcases for a long weekend getaway.
The night before we were to leave, a strong storm system blew in. We were in a pretty intense drought, so the rain was welcomed. We put our girls in bed and headed to bed ourselves.
“COLLEEN! Get up NOW! Call our insurance agent!”
This was how my husband woke me up at 2:30 a.m. the very day we were supposed to leave.
The rain had come in too quickly for the dry ground to absorb it.
At first, it just seemed annoying.
But, the intensity of the storm kept increasing.
Our little blow-up swimming pool in the backyard was quickly overflowing and the excess water was running straight to our already-cracking foundation.
Then came the sound.
The crash.
Then another.
And another.
Multiple basement windows had caved in.
That was the first time I’d seen waterfalls in person. The problem with that? They were in our basement.
It was oddly beautiful in the most terrifying way.
Boxes were floating.
Baby furniture intended to be passed down to our grandchildren was saturated with dirty rain water.
Everything was destroyed.
We stood there, eyes wide with disbelief as years of memories floated around our ankles. The vacation we’d spent weeks planning seemed to disappear with every bucket of water we removed.
Needless to say, the vacation was canceled.
Instead, we stayed home and deep cleaned the basement—something we’d been avoiding for years.
There were no pictures.
There were no souvenirs.
There was no road trip.
There were many, many tears shed.
This was the first time I recall praying as a couple.
While we weren’t able to make this trip happen, we chose to accept that this was God’s way of reminding us to do what we’d been putting off for so long.
But, we had done something important.
We had taken the first step.
We were finally taking the trip.
The most important part was that we finally decided to go. We made the reservations. We turned “someday” into a specific date on the calendar.
The storm ruined our plans and destroyed the basement, but it couldn’t stop us from taking the next trip.
The rain may have delayed that first trip, but it did not put an end to it.
We kept dreaming.
We kept planning.
We tried not to procrastinate when it came to doing things we knew required attention.
Have you ever spent weeks planning the trip only to have it go completely sideways at the last minute?
Did you give up?
Did you keep going?
I’d love to hear your stories!
1.
Hello Squirrels!
Let’s get this party started!
I hope you’ll bear with me as we explore, learn and grow together while creating a welcoming community of people who want to see the world, embrace their neurodivergence and live life to the fullest.
I’ve told you about me—now I want to hear from you!
What do you want to see here?
What travel challenges are you facing?
What can we talk about to make travel less overwhelming?
What victories are you celebrating?
One of the biggest triggers for my anxiety is packing. Not the actual task of packing, but the part where I’m terrified I’ll forget something.
How much should I pack?
When should I start packing?
Will I need to check my bag, or can I fit everything into a carry-on?
How can I avoid leaving something important behind?
With each trip I take, I’ve slowly found a routine that puts my mind at ease.
Please keep in mind that this is what works for me. It may look a little different for you, and that is perfectly okay!
My best friend and I prepare for trips very differently, but we both end up in the same place.
And that’s what matters!
So…
What part of travel stresses you out the most?
